After a 30-year faith journey, I have run the gambit of duties and positions in the church. From youth group to Sunday school, to Elder, to usher, to lay ministries, cell ministry, and small group leader. Been there done that. So when I approached my wife in becoming a deacon, her first question was; what is a deacon. Well, it's an ordained position in the church that assists in worship, teaches, and from time to time makes hospital visits and visits shut-ins. " You already do that, so why go through the process of becoming a deacon?" Well... because... it's more than just that. Like what? I am sure the puzzled look on my face said it all. I didn't know, what I didn't know. So off I went to the internet and looked at Youtube videos, read web pages, and even got two books on what it was to be a deacon. It was everything from groundskeeper, to assistant to the pastor, to business leaders in the church. So again the same question came up; "So why the who formal process of ordination?"
The biblical understanding gave a better understanding, but very broad in application. A deacon is a servant. A person appointed and called by God to be intentional in their living as a servant to the church and to its people. So what is the difference between a church volunteer and a deacon? It is about obedience, not obligation. A volunteer in the church is obligated for a term or a season to serve in the church. Once they get burned out they feel they have fulfilled their obligation, step down, and move on. They fall into the Pareto principle. Twenty percent of the people, doing 80 percent of the work. But a deacon lives a life of obedient intention. They are of the one-percenters. Actually, it's more like .131% of the population. Those selected few that God has called to live a life in service to Him.
I have tried to find inspiration in the history and traditions of the church. For me, my call to the diaconate was a paradigm shift when I began to study the life of a Friar. Friars, like monks, live a devoted religious life. The difference is that a friar lives and works among regular people in society, 
while a monk lives in a secluded, self-sufficient group of monks in the monetary. They take a vow of poverty, only living off the alms and offerings of others. They live the life of a mendicant. The life of a beggar. They are called to a life of poverty, chastity, and obedience. They can serve as tradesmen, cobblers, tailors, and musicians. They are seen as more of a jack-of-all-trades rather than a specialist. But what would all this have to do with a married man with a family and a career? In the literal sense, one would see very little comparison, but in principle, a lot can be learned of a life of a Friar.
When I meditate my call to the diaconate, and what has God called me to be, I look back on my life to see a pattern within my journey. A journey that can give me insights on what God has done in my life in order to see what God has planned for the future. He has prepared my way for such a time as this. I have been blessed in all that God has provided. After thirty years, I have been unable to obtain what I set for my career goals. I have spent the last 30 years building my career and continuing to grow in my knowledge to gain the skills to move up the corporate ladder. Chasing the dollar to some foreseen prosperity. Like chasing leaves in the wind, it is a never-ending cycle.
Now I find myself in a paradox. With 10-15 years before I can consider retirement, how do I begin to scale back and run the race in reverse? How do I rethink my life in a fresh new way? Unlike the life of a philanthropist. Who spends half their lives making millions and the other half giving it away. I see my life as a want to be Friar. I have little wealth outside that which sustains my day to day life. I have raised my children and carry little debt. I don't go on high priced vacations that take years to pay off. I have not bought a car in over 12 years. I don't have enough unused junk laying around to have a yard sale. In today's world standard I live a pretty boring life. And yet I am at peace.
In thirty years my family and I have endured many trials and setbacks. From hurricanes to tornadoes, to loss of a job, and major surgery that required months of rehab. And yet God has provided all our needs. We have begun to live a life of watching for the signs of things to come. And come they do. Our recent situation with the global pandemic is evidence of that. And yet God has provided. When major events occur, we simply sit back and ask; 'What does God have to do with this?' and 'I cant wait to see what he does with it.' Like watching a sculptor make a masterpiece from a solid granite block, we watch God make amazing things out of the most unlikely lives. So here I sit, listening to the heartbeat of God. Wondering what he will do next. I have little time to worry about what I will do in my retirement years. I didn't prepare early to save and invest to have millions in my golden year. But God has prepared my heart to answer His call for such a time as this. So the life of a Friar I shall have. Working hand to mouth until the day He calls me home.
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